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In about half an hour I'll be at SSR for an admission. These things make me so nervous because I have to prove myself to somebody I don't know, somebody who doesn't know me. As I am. Looking at my blackberry phone, seeing the red light flickering. I wonder what it is, but I am to anxious to take a look. The apple lying in the left corner of my - yet not really 'my' - desk. It has an ugly spot. An imperfection. Giving me enough reason to drop it into my dustbin tomorrow. I can't wait for Christmas to finally begin. Warmth, candlelight, family and good food. Maybe, just maybe, also a few presents if I'm lucky :) First I have three essays and three exams to finish. Busy busy busy, yet so inactive at this moment. My head wants to do things my agenda doesn't permit me to. "Here we go again," repeating the words sung by Miss Hayley Williams. I haven't listened to Paramore in too long. Probably because of the emotional connection I have with the lyrics. And probably because of the time I listened to these songs most; that's the time I want to forget. Suppress. Ok, I'm leaving in ten minutes. Let's take a breather before I dive into the unknown, like I always do.