I don't love you.

Actually I love you.
In moments like these I suddenly realize you're on my mind too often to not love you.
And the fact that you've been haunting me in my dreams should say enough.
I don't want to love you and maybe I don't, but there is something deep inside that feels.
Something.
Something I can't get a grip of.
I know you have been through too many things, more I can think of.
I'll take care of you.
But I can't.
I don't know how I can deal with your lifestyle and your way of thinking.
Sometimes you know how to touch the strings, let them trigger my annoyance.
To a point where I feel like I hate you.
Like you're nothing but a kiss, a hug, an embrace.
You shatter me into a million tiny pieces and then when I've picked them up again
you do the same.
You touch me, like.
There are no words.
I don't understand this, and I hope it's just my mind playing tricks with me.
Because you should know, I'm not supposed to love you.
We cannot be together the way I would want us to.