Monday, 2 April 2012
You had that day. That day where suddenly everything came bursting in your face. The world suddenly crashed down on your shoulders and everything was just too much. The things you do, the house you live in, uni... everything turned into an overload of stuff which you just can't seem to handle. Being sick for three months is too tiring. Just way too much to handle as life goes on with all its activities involved. You can't seem to find the missing piece of the puzzle and the chaos in your head expands by the second. Even the phone call ending up in yet another problem makes your eyes explode. And as the tears roll over your cheeks in thousands, you call your mother. She gives an eye opener you didn't want to hear but had to. So this weekend you're going back home. Back to mom. Sleep, read and do nothing. That's what you need, actually more than less often. And actually someone had to be by your side, but you're picky and insecure so you haven't managed to arrange that yet. The plant is still dying and the candles are still dripping. Everything in this room suddenly seems messy and your head is still bursting. It feels as if you're the only one that has issues with this busy life, because everyone around you seems to live a perfectly happy and healthy life. Mom said that you're really not that special, that you're really not the only one with all these problems. You know but you still fail to see it. The sun crashes through the crowds, but it doesn't manage to reach your lawn yet. The sun is always brighter on the other side. The grass is always greener. Then a man appears and cleans up the trash of other people, the trash you meant to clean up because it was clogging up your head as well. Minor breather at that, thank you for the oxygen mister Cleansy Man. You are the person I am. Yellow flowers are so beautiful, it seems like they light up with the sunshine reflecting on their buds. I'll be a yellow flower bud someday.